im sat here watching a half broken man squeeze a bike that(that im sure he never wants to see again) into a box......yes that's right im watching and not assisting as despite his DOMS im most certainly less of a help than a hindrance.
yesterday was a total mixture of emotions for me ranging from pride, admiration, fear, relief and pure joy.
an ironman is something i will never fully understand. i have no desire, no wish to put myself into that abyss of pain, exhaustion and mental dig deepability but watching it yesterday did help me to understand, on some level, what it takes to conquer such an endurance event
watching the swim start i was blown away by the bravery it takes to swim over 3km in choppy sea water. no calm lake with the odd pike or swam that sends me into a panic. yet James managed without fuss or complaint and out he gets on the bike.
i hop on a train and watch him around 60km then again around 80km. he is flying looking great and smiling. next time i see him, its a different ball game. its about 140km, the winds picked up and he looks like he's had enough. i stay to watch the last small lap, standing on a downhill im lulled into a false sense that all is ok and i know ill see him next after the first 10km run
first 10km comes and goes with what looks painfully grim, but he's running,holding pace and i begin to think the end is in sight.......how the tables can turn.
waiting for James on the second lap seems to take an age but i finally see him coming towards us looking a broken man
after walking with him for 100m or so it becomes apparent he's in all kinds of trouble. i can't understand him, he has that vacant look in his eyes and all i can do is say its ok and i believe in him. as he stumbles off i fight back the lump in my throat and i push aside my gut feeling that says 'what if he's not'. standing with Mr and Mrs jibby we all look at each other in silence knowing there is nothing we can do for this man right now other than hope. he really did look that bad.
trying to nervously laugh off the fact that he has 2 more laps we wait for him to complete the 1km turn and run past us again. but he never comes past. we laugh it off for 15mins saying things like he will be queing for the loo or eating but deep down we all know we are kidding ourselves. 1hr 20later and ive walked bk so far im basically in the transition zone. no sign of jibby and now people we recognised as being near him are starting there 4th lap.
i starred as hard as i could at the turn point willing him to come around. partically beginning him to run around the corner, not caring what state he was in and not daring to ask myself if he's overdone it and secretly cursing myself for teaching him to push through the pain barrier.
with batteries dying on our phones, light fading rapidly and thousands of people around as finishes meet loved ones, we all just felt really rather useless. in a panic we split up and went different ways only to find each other 20mins later but with no more info. totally dark and suddenly feeling very foreign we managed to persuade a steward to search the medical tent, scroll down the list of people taken to hospital and hunt on line for his chip location. no joy. by this point Mr jibby snr has him on a ventilator, Mrs jibby has him collapsed and lost and i don't even know what to think. its now 11.50hrs since we saw him enter the med when an official come to find us to say the computer tracked him and he is still on course. not quite sure we believe her broken English but at least it was something. so all three of us head to the finish line and wait. watching finishers come in, take children in their arms as they cross the line was incredible but all our eyes strained into the darkness willing jibby to turn the corner.
finally as the clock edged nearer 12 he came into sight. having not seen him for 2.5hrs there was a mixed emotions of pure relief, laughter and total admiration. i burst into tears swearing blind id never come on holiday with the jibsters again!
watching him cross the line with his hands above his head i saw a modest and brave man conquer his challenge. i was privileged to have witnessed it, proud to have in some small way helped him along the way and in total owe of my friend James.
no one will totally understand his ironman experience but i was pleased i came a bit closer than most
congratulations x