Ilkley Triathlon 22/09/13

[jonathon.e]

Where: Ilkley
When: 22/09/13
Organiser: Leeds Bradford Tri club
Course details: Pool swim, rural roads
Distance(s): 500m/9m/3m ish
Marshalling: Marshalling lots
Facilities: Changing, showers, toilets

Freebies: Transition towel ( could I be given a freebie that I could detest more, not funny, go on laugh)

My Race:

In short

Swim- Awful

Bike- Atrocious

Run- Abysmal

There that was easy,

But now we need to understand why the above.

Everyone has a race they go back to, this is mine, missed out the last couple of years due to various other occurrences.
But this year I got the chance to go and revisit it.
The race is exceptionally well run, it is a local tri club race, approx 350 racers, as well as teams, which puts it up to around 400 competitors, the race has won 220 magazine small race of the year a couple of times, and deservedly so too.

The course is ideal for beginners, and not so beginner triathletes, rural roads, so relatively traffic free.

The race itself starts at 9:30, start times are seeded, so slowest first, etc, no need to turn up for a briefing then hang around, just arrive with sufficient time to register, rack and change. The town of Ilkley gets busy, Nearby Otley has a folk festival on the same weekend so the roads are busy, just give yourself a bit of extra time.

We arrived, I registered, racked, and changed then went to chat with Mrs J. Who was watching at the poolside. She remarked, that given that as it was getting towards the end of the triathlon, and these swimmers were supposedly meant to quick according to their times, " their swimming was truly atrocious ", her words not mine, so with those words it was down to the poolside .

Swim brief given and eventually got into the pool. Now, the pool itself has the markings for six lanes on the pool floor, but for the tri, it was divided into three, so plenty of space, unless you end up in a lane with someone who cannot swim straight for 25metres.
And so we go, 20 lengths, 500m, lack of swim training was telling, trying not to go into respiratory deficiency, the lane counter gives the two to go sign, I give thumbs up and finish the swim.

No running on the poolside, or a penalty, at last, they are doing this, once out of the pool building, over the timing mat and start the run to transition.

T1.
In and out

Bike.

The bike course, you either hate it or detest it with a vengence. It is ideal for spectators as it is a 3 lap course of three miles each( well just under).
And it is simple, there is a flat bit,
There is a downhill bit,
And there is an uphill bit, this uphill bit is a mile in length with approx 310feet of ascent, a and you all know how much I love going uphill.

You exit transition, onto the road, go for about half a mile, right hand bend to the left, and start climbing, after two minutes, you feel sick, three minutes, you want to get off and throw up, four minutes and you want to stop at transition and quit, and this is before you have got half way around the first lap.

Eventually you get to the top and you get to hurtle downhill at speed.
Now I need to describe the descent,
Drop of 310 feet, in 3/4 mile,
Road surface is ok, but not brilliant, with some potholes, one noticeable o e half way down and another at the turn at the bottom.
The route is tree covered, on cold wet days, it doesn't dry off, the road stays greasy, and on a few occasions, there have been riders who have over cooked the corners and face planted into various gritstone walls. In the short decent you easily exceed 45mph.
On sunny days the sunlight streams through the branches and with the dark shadows from the trees causes a strobing effect which practically blinds you.
Other hazards are, in no particular order,
Runners on the course,
Pedestrians, cars reversing out of their drive way,
Horses, and we all know how much horses love cyclists, when I came across one a few years back.
And the worst hazard this year, was an other competitor, caution Rant coming up.

Just because you wear a GB kit tri suit, that doesn't mean you are Gods gift to cycling, and do not need to heed the Highway Code, you may race for the country on closed roads, but when the roads are open to the public, it doesn't mean that you are immune from normal traffic procedures. I know who you are, because you had your name stamped on your backside, and if you overtake on the inside on a tight ninety degree bend ( which may be ok for closed roads, ) again, forcing the other cyclist onto the other side of the road, I swear, I will ram that carbon bike, so far up your arse, you will have carbon rimmed wheels for glasses.

And the bonus of the course is you get to do it again., great, flat bit, uphill, feel sick, like a fairground ride you can't get off.

Eventually the nightmare stops at T2

In-out

Run.

Brilliant, I get to go up that bloody hill again, well, at least I will be able to admire the views across the valley to the crags on the other hill. Slow, slow, slow slow slow. It never ends, there was a nice convoy of Willys jeeps that went past, that took my mind off the pain for about a second, eventually, the final ascent was done, and just the downhill now.
After way to long, the finish line was reached, to the voice of the commentator going,

" and here is number 320, from Bridgtown Cona Testa, God this is a mouthful isn't it, I am not saying the rest, but well done."


Back next year,
Hopefully yes, of course, as if there was any doubt.

[Sir Jibbenstein]

Transition towel ( could I be given a freebie that I could detest more, not funny, go on laugh)

You make it sound such an enjoyable race...
Good work for doing it, it can't have been all bad if you want to do it again

Just because you wear a GB kit tri suit, that doesn't mean you are Gods gift to cycling

One of the many reasons "WILSON GBR" will only be seen in events the require me to have it printed across my cheeks. You'd be just as shocked at these guys behaviour on closed roads.

I will ram that carbon bike, so far up your arse, you will have carbon rimmed wheels for glasses

Priceless

[Jack Hughes]

So, I take it from the acerbic tone that you didn't find the missing 9 seconds?




Puts Down pointy stick and retreats slowly.... Before turning round and running for life away from the increasingly angry buzzing sound.

[Jimba]

Sounds like Stu should have been doing it.......tough. Well done Jon, can only be good prep for the main event. How did you do v previous outings?

Just read Jacks prod before submitting this.......ouch. Don't shove the carbon up the GBers arse......you may be needing it for someone else!

[Jack Hughes]

It's just that going up probably makes jon.e think of the double dose of going up he has foolishly agreed to next month.

I am sympathetic.

Truly.

[IanM]

Sounds very appealing, I can really see why you go back and do it regularly!

At least you can take solace in your new comforter / transition towel

[King Sad]

Well done Jon

I can tell you were annoyed when writing this, if I see a lumpy arsed GB traithlete I will know what happened

Hope that the next time is better, sounds like a nice friendly event, still at least you can take solace from your new towel

[jonathon.e]

How did you do v previous outings?

:

All times down across the board, for some reason, I had no racing ' gear', there was nothing there to give the extra impetus in a race, maybe tired, or something else??

Jack can prop and poke as much as he likes, It won't make it any worse.

[Jack Hughes]

How did you do v previous outings?

:

All times down across the board, for some reason, I had no racing ' gear', there was nothing there to give the extra impetus in a race, maybe tired, or something else??

Jack can prop and poke as much as he likes, It won't make it any worse.

Big cuddle then.

Still not seen the results. Wasn't sure if you were hiding something up your sleeve. Mind wars.

[jonathon.e]

Still not seen the results. Wasn't sure if you were hiding something up your sleeve. Mind wars.

No nothing sinister like that, performance is on Strava, and I didn't post anything as I was a touch busy, that was all. Hey, ho, onwards and upwards, literally